You may have noticed that there hasn't been much of Brian in ADCO Campaign 2008. You may have begun to wonder, "Where is Lanier's partner? Where is the Creative Director? Where is Brian in all this?"
Well, my friends, you will wonder no more. Brian is here in an all-access interview where he will expose all of his dirty laundry so that you can get to know the REAL Brian, the man you want to lead ADCO. [Interview paid for by the campaign to elect Brian for ADCO President.]
Interviewer: Brian, where have you been throughout ADCO Campaign 2008?
Brian: Well, interviewer, I've been watching and waiting. I'm like a cheetah stalking his prey. I watch and wait until the moment is right, until the perfect opportunity to strike arrives. I believe the opportunity is here.
Interviewer: Don't you feel all this stalking predatory talk is antithetical to your campaign--"We can all get along"?
Brian: No.
Interviewer: Okay. Well, tell me, Brian, why now? Why do you think now is the right time?
Brian: Because my strongest competitors have fallen. Claire and Jessica took an early lead on all of us, but I knew they couldn't keep them. And, of course, I was right. Claire is out of the race and can't even show her face on the streets anymore. Jessica is so fearful of a scandal that she has basically given up campaigning all together. My other competitors have fallen too. Jenny's supporters have practically abandoned her, and Karen's followers saw her for what she really is -- in way over her head. There is no real competition left. So the time is right for the untainted, beloved Creative Director / Partner to emerge.
Interviewer: What about Lora? She's in spot #1. And Lanier has made an exceptional comeback. What about him?
Brian: Lora and Lanier are push-overs, not competitors. Lora made it to the top by sheer luck, and Lanier has only come out from the gutter because of Linda's PR expertise. Both of which will run out soon.
Interviewer: So, Brian, tell me about your dirty laundry. The voters want to get to know the real you.
Brian: Not much to tell really. I have socks, pants, and shirts in the hamper right now.
Interviewer: Very interesting. What about your underwear?
Brian: No comment.
Interviewer: Okay, Brian, let's talk about the issues. What do you think of technology and forms of new media?
Brian: Computers and the internet are just a fad.
Interviewer: What do you think of recycling, particularly recycling logos?
Brian: There's no room for recycling in the left or the right brain.
Interviewer: What about female power?
Brian: No thanks, I'm good.
Interviewer: How do you feel about traditional values?
Brian: Tradition is in the box. I'm out of the box--but in a business-y kind of way.
Interviewer: Why should you be ADCO President?
Brian: Because I'm the best of both worlds.
Interviewer: What's different about you and your campaign?
Brian: Interviewer, my campaign is about bringing people together. The people who work in advertising come from two different worlds; I want to combine those worlds peacefully as I've done in my own life. I'm both a businessman (partner / AE) and a creative (director, that is), and that makes me different from Lora and Lanier. I've merged left brain and right brain in my life, and I believe we can do it all over ADCO and the world.
Interviewer: What about people who don't believe in left brain-right brain stuff?
Brian: They're wrong, but they should vote for me anyway.
Well, there you have it, folks. That's Brian in a nutshell that's been cracked open and laid out on the table for all the world to see.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Friday, April 18, 2008
Brief Updates from the Campaign Trail
ADCO Campaign has a new leader. That's right, the great Karen has fallen, and Lora has set up shop in spot #1. Although a late start kept Lora from thriving in the race early on, she sky-rocketed quickly into spot #4 before she plateaued. Still, as her primary competitors (Karen and Claire) found themselves plagued by scandal and losing support from voters, she remained squeaky clean. And she's standing strong today with about one month left in the race for ADCO President.
Linda Carle, ADCO candidate turned Campaign Manager, couldn't save her own run for the ADCO throne, but she's certainly trying to save Lanier's--starting with successfully courting Claire's endorsement. As a result of Linda's efforts, Lanier has officially entered the thick of the race. After months on the bottom rung of the ladder, Lanier has now found himself in spot #3. But will his improvement be enough to save him? #3 is good, but he'll need to be better than good to win this race.
Feverishly trying to hold on to spot #2 is Jenny Matthews. Although Jenny boasted zealous support early on, causing her to rise high, her followers have become a lackluster. There has been some talk in recent days about the strength of a partnership between Lora and Jenny, but Lora's campaign manager is keeping silent.
Linda Carle, ADCO candidate turned Campaign Manager, couldn't save her own run for the ADCO throne, but she's certainly trying to save Lanier's--starting with successfully courting Claire's endorsement. As a result of Linda's efforts, Lanier has officially entered the thick of the race. After months on the bottom rung of the ladder, Lanier has now found himself in spot #3. But will his improvement be enough to save him? #3 is good, but he'll need to be better than good to win this race.
Feverishly trying to hold on to spot #2 is Jenny Matthews. Although Jenny boasted zealous support early on, causing her to rise high, her followers have become a lackluster. There has been some talk in recent days about the strength of a partnership between Lora and Jenny, but Lora's campaign manager is keeping silent.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
An Endorsement
A piece of parchment sent to ADCO headquarters from an unknown location requested we release this letter from Claire Connolly.
"It is unfortunate that I cannot be with you today. I would like very much to be, but wherever I go, the cameras follow me, splashing pictures of me in the paper and running them alongside articles with the most hurtful of headlines like 'ADCO's very own vandal.' Though I am trying to leave my checkered past behind me, the press certainly won't let me forget.
"Nonetheless, I write to you today in good spirits. I write to you today with an endorsement that may feel unexpected but that is wholeheartedly my own.
"I, Claire, would like to endorse Lanier Jones for ADCO President."
[insert shocked gasps here]
"I know there was a time when I was fighting against Lanier and his regime. I know I said some hurtful things. But I write to you today a changed woman. I believe Lanier will lead this company to another 18 years of greatness.
"I want to encourage voters to give your support to Lanier. He is steadfast and true. And I want to encourage the remaining contenders to step down. Your attempts at the throne are misguided. Lanier is our true leader."
[insert angry cries of candidates here]
"Karen, you're overstepping your bounds; you're just a student, an intern. Step down. Jennifer, your hippie politics won't get us anywhere. Step down. Jessica, you don't even have an iphone. Stop living this lie, and step down.
"We must not be divided any longer. It's time for unity. So, ADCO candidates, I beg you, let Lanier lead us."
My friends, Claire has spoken.
"It is unfortunate that I cannot be with you today. I would like very much to be, but wherever I go, the cameras follow me, splashing pictures of me in the paper and running them alongside articles with the most hurtful of headlines like 'ADCO's very own vandal.' Though I am trying to leave my checkered past behind me, the press certainly won't let me forget.
"Nonetheless, I write to you today in good spirits. I write to you today with an endorsement that may feel unexpected but that is wholeheartedly my own.
"I, Claire, would like to endorse Lanier Jones for ADCO President."
[insert shocked gasps here]
"I know there was a time when I was fighting against Lanier and his regime. I know I said some hurtful things. But I write to you today a changed woman. I believe Lanier will lead this company to another 18 years of greatness.
"I want to encourage voters to give your support to Lanier. He is steadfast and true. And I want to encourage the remaining contenders to step down. Your attempts at the throne are misguided. Lanier is our true leader."
[insert angry cries of candidates here]
"Karen, you're overstepping your bounds; you're just a student, an intern. Step down. Jennifer, your hippie politics won't get us anywhere. Step down. Jessica, you don't even have an iphone. Stop living this lie, and step down.
"We must not be divided any longer. It's time for unity. So, ADCO candidates, I beg you, let Lanier lead us."
My friends, Claire has spoken.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
The Aftermath
It's been two weeks since campaign videos hit the streets, and the campaign has taken on a life of it's own. But the biggest news first...
ADCO Campaign 2008 has one less contender. One less fighter for change. Folks, Claire Connolly is out of the race.
After she was caught vandalizing ADCO Campaign posters all over the city, Claire was forced into hiding. Her loyal supporters searched for her, far and wide, high and low, but she was nowhere to be found. So after twenty solid minutes of looking, they all gave up.
Moments later, a telegram was received at ADCO Headquarters. It read:
"I am ashamed of my actions. STOP. I must withdraw from the race. STOP."
After this announcement, Claire's followers aren't the only ones looking for her. Several ADCO candidates have been missing in action as they seek out the fallen fighter in hopes of gaining her endorsement and the votes of her supporters.
ADCO Campaign 2008 has one less contender. One less fighter for change. Folks, Claire Connolly is out of the race.
After she was caught vandalizing ADCO Campaign posters all over the city, Claire was forced into hiding. Her loyal supporters searched for her, far and wide, high and low, but she was nowhere to be found. So after twenty solid minutes of looking, they all gave up.
Moments later, a telegram was received at ADCO Headquarters. It read:
"I am ashamed of my actions. STOP. I must withdraw from the race. STOP."
After this announcement, Claire's followers aren't the only ones looking for her. Several ADCO candidates have been missing in action as they seek out the fallen fighter in hopes of gaining her endorsement and the votes of her supporters.
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