You may have noticed that there hasn't been much of Brian in ADCO Campaign 2008. You may have begun to wonder, "Where is Lanier's partner? Where is the Creative Director? Where is Brian in all this?"
Well, my friends, you will wonder no more. Brian is here in an all-access interview where he will expose all of his dirty laundry so that you can get to know the REAL Brian, the man you want to lead ADCO. [Interview paid for by the campaign to elect Brian for ADCO President.]
Interviewer: Brian, where have you been throughout ADCO Campaign 2008?
Brian: Well, interviewer, I've been watching and waiting. I'm like a cheetah stalking his prey. I watch and wait until the moment is right, until the perfect opportunity to strike arrives. I believe the opportunity is here.
Interviewer: Don't you feel all this stalking predatory talk is antithetical to your campaign--"We can all get along"?
Brian: No.
Interviewer: Okay. Well, tell me, Brian, why now? Why do you think now is the right time?
Brian: Because my strongest competitors have fallen. Claire and Jessica took an early lead on all of us, but I knew they couldn't keep them. And, of course, I was right. Claire is out of the race and can't even show her face on the streets anymore. Jessica is so fearful of a scandal that she has basically given up campaigning all together. My other competitors have fallen too. Jenny's supporters have practically abandoned her, and Karen's followers saw her for what she really is -- in way over her head. There is no real competition left. So the time is right for the untainted, beloved Creative Director / Partner to emerge.
Interviewer: What about Lora? She's in spot #1. And Lanier has made an exceptional comeback. What about him?
Brian: Lora and Lanier are push-overs, not competitors. Lora made it to the top by sheer luck, and Lanier has only come out from the gutter because of Linda's PR expertise. Both of which will run out soon.
Interviewer: So, Brian, tell me about your dirty laundry. The voters want to get to know the real you.
Brian: Not much to tell really. I have socks, pants, and shirts in the hamper right now.
Interviewer: Very interesting. What about your underwear?
Brian: No comment.
Interviewer: Okay, Brian, let's talk about the issues. What do you think of technology and forms of new media?
Brian: Computers and the internet are just a fad.
Interviewer: What do you think of recycling, particularly recycling logos?
Brian: There's no room for recycling in the left or the right brain.
Interviewer: What about female power?
Brian: No thanks, I'm good.
Interviewer: How do you feel about traditional values?
Brian: Tradition is in the box. I'm out of the box--but in a business-y kind of way.
Interviewer: Why should you be ADCO President?
Brian: Because I'm the best of both worlds.
Interviewer: What's different about you and your campaign?
Brian: Interviewer, my campaign is about bringing people together. The people who work in advertising come from two different worlds; I want to combine those worlds peacefully as I've done in my own life. I'm both a businessman (partner / AE) and a creative (director, that is), and that makes me different from Lora and Lanier. I've merged left brain and right brain in my life, and I believe we can do it all over ADCO and the world.
Interviewer: What about people who don't believe in left brain-right brain stuff?
Brian: They're wrong, but they should vote for me anyway.
Well, there you have it, folks. That's Brian in a nutshell that's been cracked open and laid out on the table for all the world to see.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment